How I overcame the cringe of posting online

For a long time, I hesitated to share anything online.

It was the usual stuff, all boiling to 'what would people think'.

It felt cringe to put myself out there, but somehow, the feeling has faded away and on most days, I don't mind what people think.

It finally clicked that a fleeting negative thought someone might have about me is absolutely not worth the sacrifice of giving up something I might like to do.

So, here are a few perspectives that helped me feel more comfortable putting myself out there.

Side note: I am a newbie and my experience with posting online is limited (I have been posting regularly for only four months now). However, I believe there is value in sharing beginner experiences as these are often the most relatable.

In this spirit, let's get into the three things that helped me overcome the cringe of posting online.

3 things that helped me overcome the cringe of posting online

1) Exposing yourself to the discomfort gradually

Okay, that's a big one for me. There are three things to mention here.

First, when I started posting online in October, nobody knew I was doing it.

Learning and making mistakes is much easier when no one is watching.

Starting low-key will give you room to experiment in a safe space and once you get the ball rolling, it will be that much easier to make it public.

Second, I was very patient with myself.

My target was to write one article per week, but my approach was different at the start.

I allowed myself as much time as needed to write one article and initially spent two weeks making one post. After a month, I managed to finish an article in a week, and that's how I got into the rhythm of posting once per week.

Having allowed this routine to develop naturally took off much of the pressure I would have felt had I aimed for weekly posts from the get-go.

Third, I focused only on article writing at the beginning.

It is important not to spread yourself thin by starting five different initiatives simultaneously, especially when each is uncomfortable and requires you to step out of your comfort zone.

I know that if I had started writing articles, recording YouTube videos and publishing on X all at the same time, I would be out after the first week.

Now that I have become more comfortable writing articles and made it part of my routine, I am ready to step out of my comfort zone again and have recently started filming YouTube videos. Once again, I am taking it really easy and have not imposed a routine from day one.

So, if you are considering putting yourself out there, my advice would be to ease yourself into it. There's no rush and if you let your routine develop over time, it will be much easier and enjoyable to stick to.

2) Knowing how to deal with the discomfort

Even if you gradually expose yourself to the discomfort, you will still feel uncomfortable, especially at the start.

This is likely because you haven't developed the skills needed to produce good work, and as a result, you criticise yourself and beat yourself up when the process isn't going as smoothly as you have expected it to go. As you criticise yourself, you feel even more uncomfortable and the cycle continues.

This is not very fun.

While you can power through this cycle and motivate yourself to show up by brute force, it will make the process dreadful and the resistance you feel will show in your work.

An alternative to pushing through the discomfort and waiting for it to subside as your skill and confidence grow is to address the discomfort head-on and break the cycle I described above.

I do it in two ways: 1) putting myself in the moment and 2) writing.

1) There is something magical about putting yourself in the moment.

It helps you strip away the fluff and leaves you with the truth.

You feel the discomfort as a physical emotion - whether that be a clench in your throat, a stone in your chest or any other sensation - and realise that it is just that, a sensation. When you focus on experiencing it, it stops being as scary and unpleasant as it used to be when you were trying not to feel it.

You realise where you are, allow your muscles to chill down, and feel more grounded.

It definitely takes some practice, but oh, is it worth it.

2) Sometimes, if I have allowed the cycle to continue for too long, putting myself in the moment isn't enough.

And that's where writing comes in.

I'll write another post on how I do that, but essentially, it's about writing down all thoughts that come to mind, dissecting each of them and going through a set of prompts to reflect on them, which usually leads to very uplifting conclusions.

These practices help me feel immediate relief from the discomfort of putting myself out there and make the learning process much more enjoyable.

3) Working towards the right time

If you've been in the self-help space for a while, you are likely familiar with the slogan that the time will never be right.

Yes and no.

On one hand, it motivates action and if you are not used to stepping out of your comfort zone, hearing it over and over can give you the push you need to cross the threshold and do something positive for yourself.

But I also think you should take it with a pinch of salt because these motivational slogans target a broad audience and may not apply to your unique situation.

I have considered starting to post online for a long time, but the time was not right. I needed to build foundations first to feel all-round-happy before I could comfortably share my thoughts online.

The bottom line is that getting going ASAP isn't always the answer. You know best if you are on the path of postponing indefinitely or if you genuinely have more pressing priorities to focus on first.

That's it for this week x