How to ruin your career start in 5 easy steps
I don't know about you, but ever since I was little I was looking forward to ruining how I start my career.
I couldn't sleep at night, dreamed of it day and night and was so looking forward to the day when I could finally prove myself and completely ruin my career in just a few short weeks.
I read books about it, listened to hundreds of podcasts, spoke to people who also have experience in ruining their career and through trial and error, I came up with the perfect, tried and tested 10 step formula to completely destroy your career start (spoiler - it actually works).
Let's dive straight into it.
1) Don't validate your assumptions
You know when you were 5 and wanted to be a firefighter? Or a balerina? Or a mad scientist (although not sure if any kid ever dreams of that)?
That is EXACTLY what you should do.
There will be people who will tell you to explore and reflect on other options - for example the Designing your life book - ignore this advice at all costs.
Stick to your very first hunch from the earliest time you can remember as this is the best indication of what you will most likely dislike doing when you grow up.
To illustrate how important this point is, let me tell you a little story.
I had a friend, let's call him Tom, who never really thought of what he wants to do when he grows up when he was a child but when he entered his teenage years, it suddenly struck him. He wanted to be a lawyer.
Tom didn't know any lawyers but his imagination was telling him the job was incredible. He watched Suits multiple times over and that is exactly what he wanted for himself. He didn't want to speak to an actual lawyer to discuss what are the realities of the job and he never gave much thought into what he actually enjoys and what are the elements of a job that would make him really excited.
Following his hunch, Tom poured his heart into his studies, got into law school and went through years and years of training and exams. After years of hard work, Tom finally became a lawyer.
But, the reality of the job was far from what he had imagined. He also realised, he didn't have an inclination for elements that the job consists of - he didn't feel passionate about law, he wasn't detail-oriented and his memory wasn't the best so he had a hard time remembering what he learned in law school. Instead, he was more of a creative, big-picture kind of guy, which was absolutely not present in his day job.
Had Tom explored other options or spoken to professionals in the field, he might have found a career that truly suited his interests and strengths - but he didn't. Instead, he stuck to his initial hunch without any validation of his assumptions and successfully ruined his career start.
2) Study the shit out of your exams but don’t gain any real-life skills
Following from the point above - you must live in a bubble. Don't look beyond the textbook or else you risk getting a head start at your career. It would also give you some insight into what different jobs may entail, which might steer you away from relentlessly pursuing your First-Hunch Career.
Because of that, you must focus on academic success above all else. You should definitely allocate all available time to studying for exams and writing perfect essays.
Avoid internships, part-time jobs, any sort of opportunities for hands-on projects or practical applications of your skills. But above all else, DO NOT sign up to shadowing days, where you follow someone with a job you are training for.
If you stick to this advice you will succeed at making sure you ruin your career start - you will lack problem-solving and critical thinking skills, it will be really hard for you to adapt to the real-world work environment, you will have no clue what the job you've been training for actually consists of and most importantly, companies/institutions won't want to hire you because you don't have any real-world experience.
Trust me - these are all essential elements to making sure you ruin your career start. If you persist, you will definitely succeed in reaching that outcome.
3) Don’t make new connections
Networking and making new connections while at university is a sure way to get more opportunities coming your way, gain an understanding of the fields you would potentially like to pursue and to build a strong support system - that's why, if you want to ruin your career start, you must avoid it at all costs.
You should be so busy studying for exams and isolating yourself in a library that you should have no time to hang out with friends, attend events, join professional groups or reach out to people on LinkedIn.
To drive this point home, let me give you an example of Lucy, who didn't follow this advice and where it got her as a result.
Instead of studying for exams 24/7, Lucy spent her university years participating in networking events every month, being involved in student organisations and sororities, and even reaching out to and speaking to people who had careers she was interested in pursuing.
As a result, she built a strong network while having fun and gaining practical experience that complemented her academic knowledge. By the time she graduated, she had multiple job offers lined up, and she could choose the role that best suited her career aspirations.
If you don't want to end up like her, just do this one thing and do not network and make new connections.
4) Resits change at all costs
If you realise that the degree you're pursuing or the job you're after isn't your thing, do not change your direction if you want to successfully ruin your career start.
You must at all costs stick to the plan you made years ago and ignore any reflections and observations you have made ever since. You need to make sure to avoid searching for answers and under no circumstance read personal development books talking about how to find a career you would actually enjoy, as they may inspire you to change paths.
You must also give in to the fear of change and stick to the comfort of familiarity - after all, it would be really uncomfortable and inconvenient to change your degree major or transition to another career. Remember, the only trade-off you're making is being miserable for the rest of your working life.
5) Take the back seat
Last but not least, let things unfold without any participation on your end.
Here's a little cheat sheet to get you started:
- If your job looks different than you had envisioned - Blame the media for selling you a fantasy. Don’t bother reflecting on how you got here or what you might do differently next time—just keep making decisions based on wild assumptions.
- No skills to write a compelling job application? Clearly, that’s on your parents or the school you attended. They should be guiding you through every single step of life. If their guidance or your education isn’t getting you where you'd like to be, it’s certainly not your responsibility to look around, learn independently, or fill in the gaps.
- Failing your classes because you spend most of your watching TV shows even though you're very capable? Clearly, this is because the Netflix show was too binge-worthy.
Never take responsibility for your choices or actions, as this could lead to self-awareness and the possibility of change. Maintaining a blissfully irresponsible mentality will help you dodge the idea that your future career largely depends on your own choices.
P.S.
Just kidding.